Arizona Pastor Finds Help for Overeating Through CR

by Rheta Murry

PARKER, Ariz. (PD) — It wasn't as much what Louie Marsh was eating, but what was eating him that caused him so many problems in his "earlier" days.

The senior pastor of Christ's Church on the River in Parker, Ariz., found that the more he faced hardships, troubles, and trials, the more he ate. Sure, he had a penchant for junk food and candy. What bachelor didn't? That was merely a symptom of deeper problems inside of him. It wasn't until many years later that he realized he needed recovery.

Committing his life to Christ in high school and graduating from Bible college, Marsh has worked as a pastor most of his adult life. He first served as an associate pastor under his brother-in-law and later became the senior pastor after the man left. It wasn't long until Marsh encountered what most pastors do – critical elders and deacons who squashed any new ideas and controlled the outcome of nearly anything he did. Anything Marsh tried to do resulted in a fight.

"It's much easier to see now," he said. "I was just having all this rejection, struggle, and pain, and I didn't know how to deal with it. I stuffed the pain, and it had to go somewhere."

Never a good eater anyway, Marsh said he started eating more and gaining weight. A brief marriage to a physically-abusive woman added more pain to his already hurting psyche. Many friends and acquaintances expected him to be over the broken marriage after a month or two, so he stuffed more hurt, pain, and anger. That pain had to go somewhere, so he anesthetized it with food, gaining more weight.

As he got over "the worst of the anger," Marsh said he started eating better, getting into shape, and losing weight. That's about the time the church asked for, and he tendered, his resignation. Up went the stress, up went his eating, and up again went his weight.

Going from bad to perhaps the proverbial worst, Marsh took a job with a church in Colorado, not understanding that, as a split from another church, he was walking into still more conflict. Again, he spent several years fighting with those in control of the church; he gained more weight, and again ended up resigning from that position.

Divorced and overweight, Marsh said Christ's Church hired him as the church's first full-time pastor. Conflict isn't easily avoidable, and it happens even in the best of places. Marsh soon encountered more conflict, yet he decided to handle it differently.

"That was a turning point," he said. "Yet I still wasn't dealing with my issues."

Marsh and several people from his church took a mission trip to Myanmar, where, as ironic as it sounds, he taught a "Boundaries" class through an interpreter. In the evenings, the mission team there shared personal testimonies as they prayed together. Marsh said it was the start of his recovery the day he shared his heart and feelings, though he didn't realize it then.

"I just broke down; it was awful, but that's when my life began to change" he said. "I could let out feelings when I was alone, but that was the first time I did it in front of people."

Working through his pain and learning to express his feelings, Marsh said that he still hadn't lost even an ounce of weight. A nagging feeling and a doctor's suggestion caused him to realize he did need to lose weight, that it – and his life – had become unmanageable.

"I realized that if God is going to use me, I needed to get my temple into shape," he said. "I want to serve him as much as I can, which means I had to get my body in shape."

Starting what he called a "low choice" diet, Marsh started to lose weight by limiting his choices and basically eating the same thing every day. He started walking – first only short distances, and then around the neighborhood. He also used another tool known to nearly all Celebrate Recovery participants: the 12 Steps and Biblical Comparisons – rewritten with those with eating disorders in mind.

"I've never been able to admit my life was unmanageable," he said. "Telling people that I was not able to handle it was the best way. And I lost weight."

Noting the huge alcohol problem in the area, Marsh wanted to start a Christian-based recovery outreach. God started orchestrating that outreach, first giving the idea to a "hardcore AA" person, and then a friend of Marsh's who confessed he had a problem with pot. With that confession, the man experienced freedom, which galvanized the group's dedication. That core group started the Celebrate Recovery program in Christ's Church on the River in a "trial run" meeting March 25, 2005, and the second on April 1, 2005. Thirty-six people attended the April 1 meeting.

"It's been a remarkable journey," Marsh said about CR. "There have been a lot of ups and downs, but God is blessing it."

Marsh and a church group returned to Myanmar in March 2006. This time, he talked about Celebrate Recovery.

Marsh expresses a concern for new pastors who will probably experience some of what he had. He said he'd like to see a recovery ministry for pastors who, like him, have become ‘hard-hearted' because of pain inside them.

Now in what he calls maintenance mode, Marsh said he isn't gaining any more weight. He still continues to exercise, watch what he eats, and most importantly, work the Celebrate Recovery program.

"CR keeps reminding me that I need to keep looking at my steps," Marsh said. "The first couple of steps are most important for me – reminding myself that I am not in control, I can't manage my life, and I need to hand it over to him."