Small Group Guidelines

These Guidelines are designed to ensure a safe and productive meeting.

1. Keep your sharing focused on your own thoughts, feelings, and actions.
   
   This means, not your spouse’s, friend’s, or your family members’ habits, or hang-ups. Focusing on yourself will benefit your recovery as well as the ones around you. Stick to “I” and “Me” statements, not “you” or “we”.
   
   Limit your sharing to 3-5 minutes, so that everyone has an opportunity to share.
   
   
2. There is NO cross talk. Cross talk is when two people engage in a dialogue during the meeting. Each person is free to express feelings without interruption.
   
   This also means distracting comments or questions, or speaking to another member of the group while someone is sharing. Cross talk is also if a member responds to what someone has shared during his or her time of sharing. Additional types of cross talk would be handing a tissue or tissue box while someone is crying during their time of sharing. This interrupts feelings (there is healing in tears!).
   
   
3. We are here to support one another not “fix”. This keeps us focused on our own issues.
   
   We do not give advice, or solve a problem someone shared, or offer book referrals, or counselor referrals without being asked for help. Speak only in terms of your own experience.
   
   
4. Anonymity and confidentiality are basic requirements. What’s shared in the group stays in the group.
   
   We are not to share anything from small group with our spouses, family or friends. This also means not discussing what is shared in the group among group members. This is called gossip. If this guideline is broken, the group member is warned. If it happens again, inform your leadership. The member will be requested to leave the group indefinitely.
   
   
5. Offensive language has no place in a Christ-centered recovery group. Therefore, we ask that you please watch your language. The main issue here is that the Lord’s Name is not used inappropriately.
   
   We avoid graphic descriptions. If anyone feels uncomfortable with how specific a speaker is being regarding his/her behaviors, then you may indicate so by simply raising your hand. The speaker will then respect your boundaries by being less specific in his/her descriptions.